Every area you move to will have its own local quirks. This is why I love to travel.
When you travel to the Pacific Northwest, be sure to ask for
a geoduck at the market. You won’t be disappointed. Southern California? Being
dressed up means putting on a clean Hawaiian shirt or sequined flip flops.
Journeying to a foreign locale just intensifies the feeling
of everything being not quite as you expect it. I always have that same feeling
you get when waking up from a deep nap in the middle of the afternoon – not
quite with it and everything just seems a bit,.. not right.
Egypt? Don’t wander around with wet hair if you are a woman,
for fear that you will be judged as having a loose character. Indonesia? Only
always offer your right hand to people. Singapore? Offer both.
While Edmonton, Alberta feels so familiar, there are just a
few words people say, or activities they do, that make you remember you aren’t
in Kansas anymore. Here’s a couple of
helpful hints for any other Californians getting the great idea to escape 100
degree weather and dive into 40 below.
Learn Celsius
already. Because everyone else knows it. You can only ask Siri so many
times to convert the daily temperature before she starts to get agitated with
you. And Fahrenheit really isn’t very easy to understand, honestly. This point
came out when I was chatting with my hair dresser. She was explaining to me the
ease of Celsius and how confusing Fahrenheit was. “Zero is the point of
freezing,” she explained. To which I acknowledged, “Yes, 32 degrees,..”
Once I said it, it sounded ridiculous. How arbitrary. Zero
for freezing does sound so much more logical. Try and forget Fahrenheit.
Because, really, once you get to about twenty below, they both converge and
it’s called “yes, hell has frozen over.”
A runner is not an
unpaid intern in the legislature. It’s a tennis shoe, a sneaker. And you’ll
need lots of them, which brings me to the next point
Take your shoes off!
Everyone takes off their shoes before entering into a private space For schools
you will have to invest in new shoes for both inside AND outside.
I had no idea how rude I was stomping around friends’
houses. Which brings me to my next point –
Canadians are really,
really nice. I’m just not used to it. Let’s take last week, for example.
The girls had ice skating lessons. Since I consider myself from SoCal now. (I've lived there for so long - the longest I've lived any place, any where actiually - that I have taken up citizenship), I had really no idea how to dress them. I had
them in jeans. I forgot Fifi’s gloves. I did bring them coats. After 30 very
long minutes of terrified girls freezing their butts off on the ice (yes,
screaming, crying and nashing of teeth), the instructor came over to chat.
She acknowledged how hard it is to figure all this stuff out
and gave me pointers. She didn’t sneer and correct me like the lady in Idaho
when I said ‘BoiZZZZeeee’ instead of ‘Boise.’ She didn’t roll her eyes and turn
away like the mommy I asked for directions to the nearest bathroom in the local
California school. She didn’t sigh loudly and stomp her feet when I was on line
in a Washington store, and had to talk to my credit card company on the phone
during check out because someone was purchasing fancy dinners and jewelry in
France, while I was buying a pair of
school uniform pants on sale at Kohls.
She didn’t make me feel like an idiot for not knowing
anything. And for that Canada, I would
give you a big, huge kiss. Because I don’t know much, and I always let people
in on that secret. Thanks for being so
kind.
Loonie is not how you
feel when you can’t remember for the life of you where you decided to store all
your tank tops when you unpacked them. It’s a one dollar coin. And a toonie
is a two dollar coin. How cute is that?
So, when the back to school sale circulars came out, their
tag line ‘Only loose a few loonies’ they were referring to the money I’d save,
and not the fact that my kids would be gone for a majority of my day.
It’s a washroom.
Not a rest room. I’ve left plenty of store employees scratching their heads
trying to figure out why I want to take a nap in the bathroom. Gross
American,….
And it’s not soda,
it’s pop. I don’t care what argument you have with anyone over this, pop
rules up north. And for heaven’s sake, if you are from Georgia, don’t call it
Coke. If anything, refer to it as Canada Dry.
Beer is expensive. A twelve pack of Corona? More than 30
dollars. So, either drink your fill while south of the border, or take
advantage of the allowable quantity of high quality, cheap beer beverages you
can bring through customs. I may break
out my carboy,…
Dairy cows are extinct. Because dairy products will cost you a
pretty penny as well.
Misery loves company. To help you get over the price of beer and Greek
yogurt, work it out at your community league or rec center. These are the bomb.
Each neighborhood has a community association, and for a small fee, you can
take part in amazing activities for free, like skiing, swimming and skating.
Most communities – ours included – have an outdoor ice rink that is maintained
by a community rink keeper who basically goes out with a garden hose and makes
ice on the rink after the first freeze. Booyah!
The rec centers are scattered all
over the city and offer ice rinks, pools, work out rooms and drop in classes, indoor
playgrounds. Check out free sessions for the public to skate. Everywhere, every
week. So go buy some used skates and get out there.
So, yes, it’s time to pack up the
flip flops and break out the Sorrels. You’ll find me in the -30 coat rack,
weeping.
