Modes of Transportation

So, there are lots of ways to escape to better pastures.



It's tiring to stand around looking cute all day long.




For a quick get-a-way, the roller coaster is recommended.




Because we all know that strollers are too pedestrian.



The bounce and pounce is fun, but doesn't really go ,.. anywhere. But how can you not love something called a 'bounce and pounce?' I mean, really.

Then, there is the old squash-your-internal-organs-against-your-closest-sibling. You may not go anywhere, but by the end you really wish you had.

It always helps to have someone older and wiser lead you on your journey.

Especially when there are so many fabulous discoveries to be made along the way,...

So for now, we ride Elephants.

Spring Break Recap

And a little bit of 'pre-break' - this is a totally cute little art project Kyle completed at school.
The poem says:

"My Reindeer"
I made this reindeer with my feet.
Don't ou think he's oh so neat?
Antlers big and black you see,
are just anohter part of ME!
I hope you love the work I've done,
because it was so very fun!



Not to be outdone, the girls also like to do craft projects.




Here are the boys at the basketball playoffs in LA. They got to see the UW Huskies win their game! And they got out of school early (shhhhh,...). I will pay for this by receiving a letter from the school district every two weeks for the next few months tellling me my kids are truants, a bane to society and I need to accompany them to school to ensure they actually show up. Pfffttt. Sorry, I don't read 'truant' between the lines when I see their report cards. Try again school district. I just love being made to feel guilty for trying to enrich my childrens' lives through interesting experiences.





Which prompted Jared to find all his old basketball jerseys and create a living musuem with his sisters. He coaxed them into the shirts by telling them they were dresses. They were none the wiser.





Yep, it's true - The B is in a big girl bed! Can't believe it. And we have taken down the boaster seat. I had to use her seat for Easter dinner for an adult-sized person and am too lazy to put it back on.




Here is evidence of the B at tee-ball - can you believe it?!?!?

But we do have the pink glove that lights up when you smack it. Her coach thought that was interesting.

Fifi enjoyed the chaos.

Then to Six Flags Magic Mountain for Spring Break! Roller coasters galore! Spinning rides! Bumper Cars! But wait,.. first mom wants to ride,... the Carousel???

Oh yeah, that's why!!

Because little girls like it!

Kyle was an awesome big brother and spent hours in Bugs Bunny World accompanying the B on all the kiddie rides.

Here is Kyle in line BY HIMSELF on the puke n' rally. I would NEVER have gone on a ride by myself at the tender age of seven.

Fifi trying to escape the park.,. what else is new,....


And some artsy pics of the girls while we waited for all the boys to get done with rides,...

EASTER!

That's right folks. I was a delinquent and only dyed eggs with the oldest three of the five. Good thing because I almost lost my granite kitchen island to pink egg dye as it was. Hubby had to use the rest of the vinegar to leach it out. Heart attack central.

Now, back to reality,..

Zoo or bust

Well, we did it. We trekked the one hour journey to the Santa Ana Zoo. And the 2 1/2 hour journey back. So, basically I went to Seattle on the way there, but had to come back from Portland, Or. That's how my mind works. What's up with that? Why is home so much farther away when you want to go to it? Forget the fact that I got on the freeway one exit after the exit I was looking for and ended up in,.. Disneyland,... I'm sure there are people who would argue I'm kind of in Disneyland all the time anyway.

But we got there unscathed. Sabrina was all about hangin' with the 'boyz' and so not about being seen with her mother. Already a teenager at the tender age of three.

Zach kept muttering to us all how excited he was to see the 'tyto alba' and the 'nyctea scandiaca' the whole time, making us guess what they were. Those are the scientific names of a Barn Owl and Snowy Owl. Yes, I already bring the IQ level of my house down, by merely existing.

The Big J is a texting fiend ("I only texted 50 times today!") and I am so enraptured to see how all this technology is changing the face of friendship and childhood connections. For example, while we were at the Zoo he is texting his dad so they can make jokes about my driving skills, viewing movies from his friend who was building a bigger bike jump ramp at the park with a shovel and a mound of dirt, and taking pictures of our adventure at the Zoo and sending them to dad and friends. And I thought I was a multitasker? My fervent need to do everything at once probably started about the same time and I hate to think what kind of monster I would have become if I had the social networking capabilities at my disposal like my son.

Not to be outdone by the 12 year old, I took pics and posted them to my Facebook page, used my maps app on my brand new iPhone to find my way to the Zoo, then to the nearest Starbucks when we were done. I did use my old fashioned mommy skills to find Slushies on the way home. I already feel like I multitask enough with five kids in a public venue and don't want to wander down that dangerous path of texting and posting while driving at high speeds. (AHEM husband).

Spring has Sprung

What? It's April already? I probably didn't notice because I have all FIVE of my kids home ALL DAY LONG for Spring break. Two weeks. fourteen days. Lots and lots of hours. Not that I don't love my kids, lordy I do. But it's tough, really tough, to make their Spring break AMAZING and AWESOME and something they want to write a journal entry about when they go back to school.

Snowboarding? Love to! Oh wait,. that means I fork out a bunch of moola for three of the five to have a fantabulous time while I wipe cold noses and make lots and lots of snowmen for about eight hours with the other two. Never mind.

Beach? Fabulous! But then I have to be cold, in cold water, hanging on to two screaming meemies while I stress about the other three drowning because I just don't have that many hands.

Science museum? No takers,.. even after I explained the dinosaurs they could crawl around with LIFE SIZE ORGANS they could squeeze (I'm serious), the earthquake chamber, the hockey exhibit, the lightening machine,.. it must have been that word 'science' in the title.

Zoo? Only the big one is not excited,.. we're getting closer to a fun time, ya'll.

Padres game? Z doesn't like baseball right now.

Ducks game? J doesn't like hockey.

I GIVE UP! Here's your bike, the remote and a Costco size box of fruit-by-the-foot - go crazy!

Today we were actually going to venture to the zoo. The small zoo in Santa Ana, not the one in LA. I'm not totally insane; just a little desperate. I got my work done, fed the kids, took the dogs on a run to get them in that 'Dog Whisperer' state of zen, took a shower, actually applied make up, then,.. Z stepped on a nail.

Nothing like the 9 year old dripping blood all over my white tile (yay for oxyclean!), and screaming bloody murder, making the 3 year old and 1 year old ALSO scream bloody murder, to make the fact that you are only on day FOUR of the two week Spring break all that much more exhilerating. Scratch the zoo. I only have a double stroller and it's not rated for an 80 pounder. Movie!

Call Sabrina's Godmother and use the ol' Catholic guilt to get her to hand over one of her teenage daughters to watch Fifi. Daughter shows up. I point out that the baby hasn't slept since 6:30 am so I swear she'll be asleep for most of the time we're gone, the bottle is in the fridge, there are craisins and graham crackers on the kitchen island and if all else fails, take her outside to go down the slide. When the daughter asks me, "uhm,.. will she freak out when she wakes up and sees that some other person is here instead of you?" I start to giggle and tell her "no, no, no, she'll be perfectly fine! Quick kids - run for the car!"

We see Monsters V. Aliens; well, okay, the three boys see it, the B and I see most of it. It's tough to be three, during naptime, have to wear 3D glasses that are too big for your face and run out of M&Ms while there is still a movie playing on the big screen.

Tomorrow, .. maybe the zoo? Wait, Big J seems to be having issues with his lips, like swelling that won't go away, so it looks like a dr. visit is in order. Hubby is conveniently 'up the mountain' and probably out of cell phone range. How nice. Didn't I just go to Vegas for a couple days sans children? Or was that some sort of horrid hallucination?

Well, there is always next week. But at this point, I'm thinking a 'staycation' by cranking up the hottub in the back yard and dispensing one dollar bills to boys who can stand to jump into the freezing pool is looking pretty good.

Once Upon A Time

Wow, has it really been 10 days? Well, in keeping with my lazy side, I bring to you scenes from a fantastic wedding - my brother's! (It's so much easier to just post pictures than think of anything really relevant to say) My bro married a beautiful lady named Vanessa. She has three great children and Ben and Vanessa are expecting their first (I said first, that means you have room to have more,. hee hee hee) next month. Which means I am totally relieved I can keep the sparkly pink tights, the leopard print onesies and pink skull shoes in the family. (the baby sized ones - mine are tucked safely away in my closet,..)



Here is the beautiful couple at the waterfalls up in Washington. No, the camera lense isn't dirty, that' s lots of fog. And clouds. And foggy clouds. And cloudy fog. It's Washington, remember?




The proud momma. And, no, I can't get over the fact my brother is MARRIED. Yay!



Oh for heaven's sake. Do I look like the total evil sister-in-law or what?!?! In all honesty, I was calming down after the B peed on the floor and all over her ONLY PAIR of underwear and tights in the ONLY bathroom at our facility. Grrr,.. And that was about 30 seconds until showtime.



Zach trying valiantly to make his sister stop singing YoGabbaGabba songs. Hope they enjoy "run, run, run; it's fun, fun, fun" just as much as we all do.



Yep, after a 12 minute ceremony, aaaallll the kids mosied up to the bar for the requisite Roy Rogers. Double cherries, please!




Man, wedding receptions really tire a girl out.

But not "Sabrina my-mother-was-in-a-sorority Richardson"

Congrats, guys!

Hi ho, Hi ho,..

I do work occasionally,.. here are the fruits of my most current labor,...

GIS Gives Snack Business a Bigger Taste of Success

Innovative $1 Million GIS Grant Program will Provide Commercial Real Estate Professionals with ESRI Software, Data, and Training


Yeah, you read that right,.. my company is giving away $1 Million in software, training and data,.. pretty amazing. And they give away lots more in an effort to ensure people use resources correctly to benefit everyone on this little planet. Besides the fact that they employ half-brained, frazzled, hopped up on too much Venti latte, spit-up encrusted moms like me.

The Town Elder

So, I have finally reached a pinnacle in my life where I am old enough, and have had enough random life experiences, to be of help to others. It kind of cracks me up, this fact that I'm all grown up. I am comfortable with not getting carded at the grocery store anymore. But, this is yet another new turn in the bumpy, dusty road of my life.

My neighbors had their second child last Friday, and of course, he is the CUTEST baby on the earth. And I have the added bonus of getting my baby fix with the built in safety net of giving said baby back when he is a) poopy, b) crabby, or c) I tire of him. Fabulous! Should have thought of this a few babies ago, but I digress,..

Now, this family has one other boy who just turned four, and they have had a time of it with him. These parents are my heroes; this little boy was born with all sorts of complications and to this day has life threatening allergies to the effect that in order for me to babysit him for even five minutes - and I do consider myself a responsible adult - I've had to sit through two hours of DVD training on my computer. All about the seriousness of food allergies and how and when to adminster the epipen - which seems to be a weekly accurance with this little boy.

Good thing I watched the videos, because I've learned the valuable lesson that you don't stab it into his chest like in Pulp Fiction. The thigh does just fine. But the look of horror when I asked his mother about that really was priceless.

I was a bit peeved when they told me the baby had come early, because I had just gotten through my first hour of video training and was getting all prepared for my babysitting morning when they were scheduled to go to the baby doctor. Oh well, he's so cute, I'll get over it.

Well, last night, I had just settled down with my fried zucchini order from the Fat Greek up the street (free advertising - I'm afraid to go back - the man had no other customers and I was afraid he wasn't going to let me go home and eat, he was a little lonely. But very nice. Shout out to you, Nick!) after two basketball practice drop offs, a run at the playground, speghetti for the kids prepared, dished out and cleaned up, and the baby to bed, when the phone rang. It was the neighbors. New six day old baby had a diaper rash, since "I've had a million kids, would I mind coming to look at it?" No sweat. I thouroughly washed my hands like a surgeon, brushed off the dog hair to the best of my ability and travelled through the shrubbery to my neighbor's house, hoping not to bring anaphylaxic shock to their four year old.

Since I've had hormonal imbalances from five pregnancies myself, I do consider myself extremely skilled and in fact, an expert in new mother psychosis. Just ask my husband. He'll vouch for me. Now, I may not have put my house up for sale without telling my husband, as my best friend from high school's mother did when she had her second baby, but I've been pretty close to lunatic.

My neighbor opened the door and explained the diaper rash was in the shape of the diaper. "We've called the nurse hotline, but they said they can't diagnose something like a diaper rash over the phone. So we called you because you know what you're doing." Yikes.

She led me to the small babe. "Um,.. D, I don't see anything, do you have another light over here?" I ask. We take the baby over to the kitchen where there is a nice, bright overhead light.

I still don't see anything I mean, nothing but healthy, pink baby skin. "Uhm,.. D? I think maybe you had the diaper on too tight."

To which the mom of the new babe breathed a sigh of relief, but then started lunaticking (remember, I can spot it a mile away). "Well, my mom put the diaper on, so maybe it was too tight. But she also said his feet were cold, do you think his feet are cold? Is he okay?"

"D,.... I think the diaper was so tight that no blood could circulate down to his feet. His feet feel fine now."

She's getting really worked up now: "And then we let him sleep for SIX HOURS IN A ROW! We forgot to wake him up! IS HE OKAY?"

At this point I grab her shoulder and tell her, "Look, D, he's healthy, his color's good, he squawked when I held him under the light, so he's very responsive,... he's not going to die. He's fine."

And silently inside, I'm totally high fiving myself that I am NOT alone in my paranoid everything-is-going-to-go-wrong-chicken-little-the-sky-is-falling persona.

Yay for me.

Well, that was it. I solved the problems and unfortunately, had to return to my own issues at home.

Such as:

plastic rat left lying around the house in things like the butter dish. Thanks 12 year old. And did I tell you that I'm no longer paying for your college? Hope you like to play with car engines.

and the three year old who put this up on her wall: Yes, her pretty, feminine, coral and pink, floral and butterfly-y, baby dolled and rocking horsed room has been tarnished by her ripping a page out of her brother's Sports Illustrated for Kids magazine and sticking THIS on her wall.

Not just an athlete, either. A freakin' ICE HOCKEY PLAYER. What the heck is next? Tattoo barbie? With her couch potato Ken doll who comes with his own 6-pack and their dream trailer? (Thanks to Kevin and Bean on KROQ for that little chuckle on the way to work today.)

Lord help me.