Tivo Queen

I used to be anyway. The master of the DVR,.. .the keeper of the vault of soulless TV shows that were always there if I wanted to watch them; kind of a security blanket. Not that I would, mind you. We try and be kind of social in this household, which means limiting hours of TV viewing and game playing, spending time doing other things. Oh who am I kidding, I'm not as quick as those little whipper snappers I live with. Their little fingers have been engineered to dial in just the correct HD channel quicker than I can say 'But Oprah's on!'

I used to have all sorts of things in my collection, like House and Grey's Anatomy and Top Chef and the Colbert Report. Then I noticed my shows were getting deleted before I even got to view them. I'd see Fringe displayed, blink, and then it was gone. In it's place is an assortment of Yo Gabba Gabba (this is like an earthquake emergency kit - gotta have something fun and dancable to distract frenzied infants and toddlers. It's on virtual 'do-not-destroy' orders), Night in HD, MythBusters, Engineering Marvels, Dinosaur Shows, Things-that-Eat-You-in-the-Ocean-so-you-should-never-go-boogieboarding-again from the Discovery Channel and really - how many Hockey games do we have to record? Huh? Who said all these little nature and true fact show loving, sports obsessed little boys could run ripshod over my DVR?

Not that it matters anyway. Once and a while I force my will on my youngsters. "IT'S MY TURN!" I bellow. Just to turn on something that either gets immediately drowned out by all sorts of urgent requests, or is deemed inappropriate for child viewing. Forget it. Which channel is Noggin, again?