Conversation 2.0

Why not? With all the Gov 2.0 and Web 2.0 stuff I see at work,.. and now it's oozing over into my personal life with some sort of Mom 2.0 event,...

I've already talked about how I use my phone now to converse with my teenager more than ever before. And I'm not talking via voice - we discuss the meaning of the universe via text messaging. Or whether or not he can have an airsoft war with his friends,.. you know, whatever's more important,..

I've found an even BETTER application for my awesome iPhone - virtual shopping! Yes! With the advent of being able to photomessage people, I no longer have to take my surly 13 year old boy who hates to shop actually with me. As long as I have the kid's measurements and what I think is a whiff of his fashion sense, I can tally ho alone. Music to my ears. I simply take a picture of said article of clothing and sms the kid. Of course, being the teenager he is, I have to:

Call his phone.

No answer.

Send a text message.

No response.

Call the house phone.

8 year old is probably airsoft gunned to answer the phone so the other two don't have to move from their chairs.

"Hello?" says tentative little voice.

"Hey dude! Can I speak to Big J?"

Silence.

For quite a while.

"Who is this?"

"For God's sake's K, it's your mother. You've lived with me for 8 years, don't you recognize my voice?"

"Oh."

"Can I speak to Big J?"

"Just a sec."

Eternity passes,.. and God takes another Sunday breather,.. and big J gets on the phone.

"Uh."

"Can you go look at your text messages? I just sent you a picture of some shorts and I need to know if you like them or not."

"K." (He's on an alphabet diet ya'll. He has to spend his letters wisely.)

A few moments later - okay, in my terms? About a shirt and a cute little cardigan later,.. he sends back an answer to my sms - which was a picture of GNARLY surfer shorts and '????'.

'No.'

Gah! "Why not?"

"I don't like them."

Welll, duh, big J, why don't you like them? So I can be like some sort of artficial intelligence creature and maybe learn from my mistakes.

"BTW, U take crappy pictures."

Gee thanks. I'm trying to clothe you and you find fault with my sense of artistry. "Trying not to get arrested,.."

So we sms back and forth for a while and I finally find shorts he likes.

But he was refering to picture #243 and not picture #244 like I thought, so they were the wrong ones anyway and then when I forced him to at least try them on for size he had a middle aged muffin top and the boy is a solid quarterback for his football team, so that was a little weird.

I never said I had the system figured out, just that I was excited about it.

It's funny the Big J is at such a loss for words when you really want it because I can remember another monumentous moment with him when he wasn't. It was the turn of the century (wow - I sound all horse drawn carriagey) and instead of referring to that time in our lives as Y2K like every one else, we referred to it lovingly as 'Why2K?"

Because there wasn't anything that kid didn't want to know. I had to read the kid street signs as we were zooming down the highway. I had to explain everything to the point that when he asked me how an elevator worked I told him it was magic.

Now, 13 years later, history repeats itself with my new 2 year old - Fifi. But she asks 'What's that?' and points to whatever - as we are jogging or driving or whatever. The point is, I don't know what she's pointing at because, like the light from the Sun, by the time it reaches me it's already 3 second old You know what I mean? We've already passed whatever object held her fancy and I have no idea what she's talking about. Just getting ready for those teenage years again, I guess.

The B? She's a wealth of interesting questions. Yesterday she asked me "Why do we have heads?" In my infinite wisdom I told her we had to have a place to put our brains -so - voila! Heads!" (she won't grow up to be a doctor on my account,..)

Then when I announced we were meeting daddy for a lunch date, she looked at me very seriously and asked, "So, why are you coming?"

Gee, I don't know, B, I guess since you aren't tall enough to reach the gas pedals I thought I'd drive you.

Then she told me "I LOVE Lady Gaga!"

And this was all on Monday.