Thursday, April 15, 2010

Dear Husband,

I'm so sorry I missed your call last night. I was really looking forward to talking to you since the last time we talked was Sunday night. It's tough for me, the iPhone, laptopped multitasking dervish to accept that fact that the Guatemalan jungle does not have an Internet connection and you have to share one cell phone with 200 paltry minutes between your 15 team members. But I can handle it.

I missed your call because I had to have all my faculties about me as I navigated the McTeacher Night at the local McDonald's, a crazed experience when both parents are available to handle the children; guerilla tactics were required for me to do this alone with five kids. But we had a successful visit - no one peed in the playplace and I only lost one child for a second as we were leaving. I still count five, so all is good.

What's going on, you ask? The usual. The B is a four year old singing sensation, unfortunately the lyric she chooses to sing over and over again is in the popular Kesha song and it goes like this: 'brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack' . As you can suspect, it really doesn't put me in a glowing light as I wheel her around the grocery store in a cart.

The big J got a few more brackets put on his braced teeth and hasn't eaten solid food in a couple of days now. He's been making smoothies and I think I've drilled it into his head that it is VERY important to put the cover on the blender before he hits the switch, and no, I don't think it is worth it to see what would happen if he didn't do that. For both my sanity, and his freedom's sake.

Z's friend finally found out that unlike what he thought, his daddy is not on a business trip but he and his mom got a divorce. This made Z sad to think about.

Then he asked me the question:"Uhm, mom, where is dad?"

"He's on a business trip. Really."


"In, the uh,.. jungle. Guatemala. Really."

"Soooo,.. is that why he hasn't called us?"

'Er,.. yes,.. he doesn't really have the capability to call us."

All the while the 13 year old is snickering and saying "Riiiiggght. The jungle. On a business trip."

Somehow everyone seems to need to go to the doctor while you are away, of course. This includes the dog.

Unfortunately no one stole my old beemer, so I had to finally pick it up at the shop. I was hoping it would be missing and I could use the insurance money to buy a nice, newer one. But I'll have to take a nap to continue with that little day dream.

Well, that's about it. I'm using your absences as an excuse to not cook and eat Trader Joe's prepared meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner. How much Brie cheese is too much Brie cheese, do you think?

Love and kisses,



Boise Wiebers said...

Love it! Though it is sad about the divorced boy's family. Did that really happen?

Muddlin' Mother said...

WHAT? Are you questioning the validity of my claims? It's true, my life is really this fantastic. : )

Isn't that horribly sad? I think the little boy knew, but this was his story for about four months now. It breaks my heart, he is such a sweetheart, and his mother is the pinnacle of perfection to me - ridiculously nice, beautiful AND she too has five children. So it breaks my heart and I wish I could just adopt her. So, I push to have our boys play together, but the other little boy has been a little reticent to do anything, I think because of the situation. I'll keep trying, and praying.

Teri said...

Aw, man. More detail in the comments only makes me more sad.

WHO DIVORCES WITH FIVE CHILDREN??? I'm not being snotty -- I just really can't imagine. Five. As if with only one or two it's okay. But seriously, if you get that far... ugh. Tell me to shut up.

Anyway... It was fun reading your letter, even if it wasn't for me. And geez oh pete you've had a lot to deal with. More than a good excuse to cook easy TJs food.