Monday, August 18, 2008


We have successfully completed our first day of school. I say 'our' because it requires probably more foresight and get-it-togetherness on my part than on any of the three kids I deposited seconds before the tardy bell rang this morning. Which is unfortunate, because I seem to be all out of both foresight and get-it-togetherness.

The 10 signs it's the first day of school:

10. The baby is up most of the night, meaning more than one pot of coffee will be required in the morning to get my engine revved.

9. When the baby is magically sleeping, one of the other four children will be awake with various requests; water, lights on, what time is it, is it really school tomorrow, chase away the scary dreams,... etc,.. AD INFINITUM.

8. We seem to be out of honey for the peanut butter and honey sandwiches.

7. Which is good because we are also out of bread. (Didn't someone tell me today was the first day of school so I could plan ahead?)

6. Jared has a bloody nose.

5. Zach wakes up with a stuffy one.

4. Sabrina spills an entire Costco sized bag of Fruit Loops on the kitchen floor.

3. Sabrina's hair is now no longer white blond; it is green; good thing we will not be going into the pool every waking minute,... time to unchlorine-ate ourselves.

2. The jogging stroller has a flat tire, which I don't realize until after I've hauled it out of the Suburban, put it together strapped two babies in it,.. ARGH!

1. The bell rings, we go to the playground and I only have TWO children. I can do two children blind folded with my hands tied behind my back.....

So we go to Costco of course, since I seem to not have anthing in my house anyone will eat. Now, I KNOW all those savvy Costco shoppers are eyeballing my overflowing cart just wishing they could have an American Express bill as big as mine.

We get the most incompentent boxer yet. Even the cashier tells her, 'this lady got it all in the cart, why can't you?" Exactly. But I won't let on that I do have several years and many continents of strategic do-not-go-over-the-weight-or-dimension-limit suitcase packing on my side. We end up with two carts and she has to help me push them out.

The screamin' Ia doesn't appreciate the cashier's attempt to talk her up and starts SCREAMING which puts the boxer completely over the edge. Had to take some time out to console the boxer that the baby will be okay, and yes I do have a Suburban outside so we can fit all those darned boxes into the back.

Boys survived school; only time will tell if I survive back to school night. By the look of the take home 'have your mom sign this before you come back to school tomorrow' packets, it's going to be a long year.

1 comment:

mom2threepks said...

As a former white blond kid who loved to swim let me in on the green hair secret. I tried all the shampoos. None of them really worked. I tried white vinegar. Worked better than the shampoos but burned my eyes my hair was still green. The secret? Disolve about 10 full strengeth aspirin tablets in about 3 cups of warm water. Pour over the hair and let it sit for 5 minutes or so. Repeat for a couple days and her hair will be significantly less green!!!
the former incredible hulk